


What's in a name? (or: Two drunk bounty hunters)

by Cherry_Red_Ink



Series: Darts and Blasters and Flamethrowers, oh my! [3]
Category: Star Wars: The Old Republic
Genre: Gen, Humor, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Writing Exercise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-28
Updated: 2014-02-28
Packaged: 2018-01-14 01:59:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1248454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherry_Red_Ink/pseuds/Cherry_Red_Ink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens if you mix two euphoric bounty hunters, a droid and copious amounts of alcohol on a ship with a ridiculous name? Exactly - more ridiculousness.</p><p>Can be considered a spoiler for SW:TOR Bouny Hunter's Dromund Kaas & Balmorra Class Missions. Includes shout-out's to some cult classics. Fair warning: this piece does not include kissing girls, neither half-dressed nor otherwise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's in a name? (or: Two drunk bounty hunters)

**Author's Note:**

> An attempt to get back into the writing groove, part three. Completely missing the point but I was amused while writing it so I'm sharing.

En route to Balmorra, they’re having a pow-wow type of get together around their newly acquired ship’s holoterminal: blankets, pillows and every alcoholic beverage they could find, which isn’t much to begin with, gathered in a pile on the floor with the sole intention of celebrating and toasting their joining of the Great Hunt and getting spectacularly drunk in the process.

At first they drink to the memory of Braden and Jory, then to a successful hunt and to friends on Dromund Kaas, then to thumbing their noses at Imperial officers with big desks, then to thumbing their noses at Imperial officers in general, to mouthing off to nobility, to being a thorn in Tarro Blood’s side, to giving delusional siths things that are apparently worse than death, to Crysta cheering them on, to the Huntmaster’s good health, to not having to brush that wookie (neither figuratively nor factually), to old toys, new toys and toys in general, to Dromund Kaas Spaceport Security and eventually to 2V-R8 and their new ship.

Mako doesn’t know who started it – might have been her, might have been the hunter. Might have been the ship droid for all she knows because after half a dozen or so Sonic Screwdrivers mixed with everything except the original ingredients, her memory is a little hazy. What she does remember is that it started with math and with either of them pointing out that 2V-R8 in mathematical terms is (v+v)-(r*8) or (v+v) – (r+r+r+r+r+r+r+r), which prompted rather vicious repetitions of “vee-vee-arr-arr-arr-arrr-arrrrr-arrrrrr-arrrrrr-arrrrrrrrr” between fitful giggles, numerous pirate jokes (all of them bad), a command for the droid to talk like a pirate and to talk like a pirate with an Imperial accent, which in both cases serves as cause for even more laughter and the droid’s rechristening into “Vee-Pirate” or, alternatively, “Pirate Vee”. ( _Arrr, master._ )

From there, it is really only a small step to the rechristening of the D5-Mantis which, in one of last night’s more memorable moments, Pirate Vee introduces as the Pankpa, Huttese for spaceship and a terribly uncreative name to boot.

“We’re not keeping that one, are we?” Mako remembers asking with something akin to horror.

“Might as well get a pet jax and call it jax,” the hunter had grumbled and they’d begun trying to find a name.

Mako’s suggestion of “Blood’s Bane” was almost immediately discarded because although this was what they were aiming for, they didn’t want to give the arrogant Mandalorian the satisfaction of having his name painted on their ship. It would mean that Tarro Blood would live on forever as the guy that made enemies of them and if the two women had any say in it Blood would be forgotten by the universe at large once they were done with him. 

A number of other names followed: the Stalker and the Huntress both discarded because they were so generic followed up by the Dauntless (which made Mako think of powdered wigs and neither of them could say with a straight face), the Praying Mantis (which was discarded because ‘no bugs’), the Queen of Naboo and the Emperor’s New Robes (which had both been a joke), the D 1 SC 0, the Golden Ratio (this was, predictably, suggested by Vee-Pirate), the Quickshot, the Aeon Eagle (which was really hard to say fast in quick succession while drunk and thus not an option) and the Joyride, which would eventually incite people to question either their work morale or their non-existent sadistic and suicidal tendencies as well as possibly attract the wrong sort of customers. Objections did not have to be voiced and were instead communicated via a look, a shudder and deep drag of whatever passed as a Screwdriver in this round.

“Arr, me lasses. What’re ye lookin’ for in a ship’s name anyways? P’rhaps this ol’ swashbuckler can offer ye some assistance,” Pirate Vee offered at one point.

And this may be why you probably shouldn’t let a droid help naming a ship while being somewhat drunk yourself.

“Something fierce.”

“Something sophisticated.”

“But not stuffy.”

“Absolutely not stuffy.”

“Something that lets people know exactly who we are.”

“Yes!”

“An’ who might ye be, me hearties?”

“We’re bounty hunters. We’re smart, brave and relentless.”

“Passionate.”

“Incorrigible flirts.”

“Sassy?”

“Definitely.”

“Fierce.”

“Skilled.”

“And we’re not too shabby to look at, either.”

“I know – brains, brawns and looks. Beats me why Blood thinks he has a chance against us. Cheers!”

While the two women launched into another anti-Tarro Blood pep rally, the droid analyzed their answers, cross-referenced possible names with those of known vessels, particularly Imperial and Republican ones, searched for synonyms in the over 200 languages it has been programmed to speak flawlessly and, after precisely two minutes and eight seconds informes his masters of the results.

Mako and the hunter listened and laughed; discarded names, made fun of others and went over the list until they ran out of alcohol and were ready to sleep it off. 

“Still like the first one best. Want it in big red letters, too,” the hunter had mumbled as she tugged a pillow under her head and Mako remembers to have been half passed out and falling asleep while wondering what the first suggestion had been.

During their time on Balmorra, she doesn’t spend much time contemplating. Major Pirrell is a grade A whiner, pompous Imperial slimeball and backstabber – and he keeps them rather busy. Really, the matter doesn’t resurface until they’re standing in their ship’s hangar at Sobrik Spaceport, their target eliminated and ready to go that Mako remembers. And, facing that reminder consisting of fresh, blazing red letters, each of them five feet high, painted alongside the ship, it is really hard not to remember. The hunter grins.

“Can’t believe he did that,” Mako groans.

“I like it,” the hunter says. “Apt description if you ask me.”

Both women exchange a look. Then the hunter smirks.

“Let’s get a move on. The Great Hunt waits for no one,” the hunter reminds her and vanishes inside the ship, red hair trailing after her like a banner. Mako’s dark eyes sweep over the ship one more time and for some reason, she can’t help but grin a little as she boards the newly-renamed _Vixen_. The grin turns into a full-fledged smile once they hit the hyperlanes and the hunter declares that a proper christening needs a proper drink.

“Aye, captain. Ye lasses be wantin’ a Sonic Screwdriver?”

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own any of the characters displayed in this piece of fiction. I am merely bowering them for the entertainment of my readers and myself with not profit other than (hopefully) personal pleasure in reading and writing being gained by all parties involved. If this piece of fiction is deemed offensive by the legal owners of Star Wars: The Old Republic, their legal representatives or the website administration it shall of course be removed with full apologies extended.
> 
> Huttese translation taken from: www.completewermosguide.com/huttdictionary.html


End file.
